Category Archives: On Grieving

Never Woulda Thought

When I woke up on September 21, 2012, I never woulda thought so much would happen in a matter of hours. My life took a major twist. And though we’ve ended up miraculously straightened back out, my heart will never … Continue reading

Posted in NICU, On Being a Mom, On Faith and this Life, On Grieving | 7 Comments

25 Weeks: The Gift of Infertility

There I was, kissing my two year old angel goodbye, and struggling to climb semi gracefully out of the car. At 25 weeks pregnant, “graceful” is quickly becoming a thing of the past. I balanced a handful of trash, my … Continue reading

Posted in On Being Infertile, On Being Pregnant, On Faith and this Life, On Grieving, On Learning to HOPE, On Miscarrying | 4 Comments

Trusting in the Midst of Grief

These past two weeks have been a roller coaster. We found out we were pregnant on January 5, much to our surprise considering our history of struggling to conceive. And thus we began the wonderful journey of early pregnancy–cautious hope, … Continue reading

Posted in On Being Infertile, On Being Pregnant, On Faith and this Life, On Grieving, On Miscarrying | 1 Comment

Waterfalls, Dams and Kinkos.

I cry a lot lately. Just here and there, and everywhere–any random thing can make the waters rise and trickle down my cheeks. At the local park, as I round the corner of the pond and gaze on the most … Continue reading

Posted in On Being in Ministry, On Church Planting, On Faith and this Life, On Grieving | Leave a comment

The Luxury of an Oops

Ever since I miscarried last week, I’ve had this phrase rolling through my mind: Luxury of an Oops It has occurred to me that having an “oops” pregnancy, while unexpected and kinda stressful, is actually a luxury. At least from … Continue reading

Posted in On Being Infertile, On Grieving, On Miscarrying | 2 Comments

Unexpected … Miscarriage

It’s amazing how something you weren’t expecting and not trying for can change your whole train of thought. Alter your entire way of thinking about the near future. Morph the image in your mind of the next steps. On July … Continue reading

Posted in On Faith and this Life, On Grieving, On Miscarrying | 5 Comments

Week 30: Didn’t, Wasn’t … Did, Am.

For so many months, I didn’t. For so long, I wasn’t. Many months, others did. Many times, others were. And I didn’t, and wasn’t. And yet, here I sit–I did, and I am. I’m the lady breathing heavily while wandering … Continue reading

Posted in On Being Infertile, On Being Pregnant, On Grieving, On Miscarrying | 4 Comments

Week 26: Finally My Turn

I was cleaning out old documents when I found this. Written March 3, 2008–it’s so weird to hear my voice from the past. These emotions seem so recent, and yet, so long ago. It’s weird how things change so quickly … Continue reading

Posted in God, On Being Infertile, On Being Pregnant, On Grieving | 2 Comments

Innocence Lost

Pregnancy is an amazing gift. A joyous surprise. A wonderful piece of news to share. But it’s different when you’ve miscarried. There’s hesitancy, a lack of excitement. Doubt rules, and fears overwhelm. Where jumping and screaming should occur, looks of … Continue reading

Posted in On Being Infertile, On Being Pregnant, On Grieving, On Miscarrying | 4 Comments

I Lied.

Written July 8, 2009 … My devotionals for the past few days have been on Ecclesiastes 3 “A Season for Everything”. Good chapter, good reminders … I kept thinking maybe my season of waiting would end soon. I kept wondering … Continue reading

Posted in On Being Infertile, On Being Pregnant, On Grieving | 1 Comment